Aspergers and Affection

Even when Chaz was a toddler he pushed away affection.  Did we give up and never show him any or hug him?  Of course not.  We tried every day even if it was only for a few seconds.  Over the years, Chaz has become more and more affectionate but it definitely didn't happen overnight.  He used to fight against being being held, even as a little baby.  Well, he was born in a snuggly family so it was something he had to get used to.  lol. I don't know how it'll be for him growing up or when he marries.  Will he show affection without being asked?  I don't know.  He doesn't come up and hug us ever, we have to always go to him.

Chaz on left with his brother's arm around him

I did a search and found this interesting article:

"Significant others and family members of people with Asperger's are often more prone to depression than the general population because people with Asperger's may not spontaneously show affection and can be very literal and hard to communicate with in an emotional way. However, not showing affection (or not doing so in conventional societally-acceptable ways) does not necessarily mean that he or she does not feel it. Understanding this can lead the significant other to feel less rejected and be more understanding. There are usually ways to work around the problems, such as being more explicit about one's needs. For instance, when describing emotions, it can be helpful to be direct and to avoid vague terms such as "upset" when the emotion being described is anger. It is often effective to lay out in clear language what the problem is and to ask the partner with Asperger's to describe what emotions are being felt or ask why a certain emotion was being felt. It is very helpful if the family member or significant other reads as much as he or she can about Asperger’s syndrome and any comorbid disorders. In a minority of situations the opposite problem occurs; the person with Asperger's is unusually affectionate to significant others and misses or misinterprets signals from the other partner, causing the partner to get annoyed and leave the person with Asperger syndrome feeling depressed and alone."

http://www.k12academics.com/disorders-disabilities/asperger-syndrome/living-aspergers

*Then I found this really interesting discussion happening  HERE.  The discussion is about being "Raised by Aspergers Parents".