*Encouragement is the best medicine to give someone. If I were to pick any gift to have in helping others, that would be the one*

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

Chaz's New Evaluation

Finally!  We had a very long sit down meeting at the school with Chaz's new evaluation and we got to work out a new IEP for him. 

Yes, they very much believe he show classic Asperger Symptoms.  They went through a long list of struggles Chaz has in school and how he still has a hard time making friends.  They talked about his straight F's.  They told me that he does need speech therapy.  We discussed his stuttering. All the negative was discussed for at least a half hour.  I just wanted to bend over from sight and cry.  I wanted to yell "Everyone out of the room!" so I could cry.

I still haven't talked to Chaz about this.  I don't know how to say it to where it doesn't sound bad.  Or hopeless. He is high functioning Aspergers after all. Many things you can grow out of and learn how to deal with. 

Was it because he was in birth canal way too long?  More than 4 hours and because the top of his head came out black and in pain?  Because the nurse made a bad judgement call and he possibly lacked oxygen for too long?

Was it because I let the doctor go crazy and prick him with a million needles at every visit and I believed him that it didn't matter whether he was sick or not? 

Did it just happen by chance?  Was I a bad mom and not feed him properly? Didn't hug him enough when he was a baby? 

I don't know.  It hurts. It really, really, really, really, really, really does.

I fought back my tears in the meeting with every power in me I could find. "Don't cry.  Act like you have everything under control."

Then the breath of fresh air came.  They called Chaz's teacher in.  Chaz loves his teacher.  He tells me how much he loves her. See, Chaz doesn't trust his teachers because of what he's been through. His last teacher left him in an empty white hallway and told him he just had to listen to her but not see since he disrupts the class.  He kept telling me kids were calling him a freak but I didn't know why. Chaz told me after the whole school year was over that he spent most of the time in that white hallway. Did the teachers bother to tell me?  Of course not. Because the nice government funding that follows Chaz to whatever school we choose would be removed. Kids with IEP plans have more money that comes with them because, HELLO, they need special help.  Like an assistant sometimes.  Chaz was kicked out of the kindergarten by the second day. He was frightened and bit his teacher. Chaz never, ever, ever bites.  Unless he's scared. 

When the teacher told me that she set up a very strict schedule for her class and also to help Chaz, he melted right into it.  Not easily at first because he tested her. She is loving but firm.  She encourages but doesn't get suckered. She is exactly what he needed.  Now she said he is getting straight A's and is very bright.  She said he gets in trouble on the bus because he can't handle the loud noise and most of the time he goes wild or even screams. I am thinking about buying him ear muffs to block out the noise because MP3's tend to get stolen.

He said he would like ear muffs. 

Have you told your child he/she has Aspergers/autism?  If you did, how did you tell them? 

Monday, November 1, 2010

Trouble In The Lines

Chaz in blue Fantastic Four Costume with his siblings
I am really excited that Chaz has a new updated IEP at school AND another evaluation.  I get to meet with the school this week.  I will definitely post update on here and would love to talk about it with other Asperger Moms.  Thank you so much for supporting each other and finding the time to answer each other's questions.


Check out my review on my other blog about a Christmas book that is out and beautifully illustrated!

I get many, many facebook emails about a fellow Asperger Mom having questions.  Now that I can get back on, I am able to finally answer them.  Thank you for writing me and I enjoy sharing thoughts and ideas!

Moving onward.  Saturday we went to a farm for a costume event and to do lots of fun stuff.  It was a great day but our biggest challenge came when Chaz had to wait in a really long long at the roller coaster.  He started hanging on his siblings, touching and hitting them, rolling on the ground, hanging off the ropes, getting super close to strangers behind or in front of us. To a point that the people would move because his body would be practically touching them.  Sometimes when his siblings couldn't take it anymore, I would try to softly contain Chaz by hugging him in front of me.  So then he would throw himself down.  You have to understand.  Chaz is a really good kid and does not throw tantrums.  Only on rare occassion.  But he goes nuts when you try to restrain him in any way.  It got so bad after waiting in line for a half hour that I had to do a bear hug on him.  He fought me so hard that I could hardly restrain him and it was tiring.  It was quite embarrassing and I'm sure there were people around me that thought he just needed some discipline. Unfortunately, people don't know the situation so it's easy for them to judge harshly in their  minds.  I got plenty of looks but I just didn't give them much mind.  In order to restrain Chaz in a soft but firm way, I had to act more like I was just hugging him and talk nicely to him.  After about an hour of waiting I got him to calm down and just stand nicely in line. By the time he calmed down, it was time to get on the ride. We didn't go back on that ride because I didn't think I had the strength to try to control him again for that long. 

That was the only incident we had other than a few other times of knocking into his brothers and sisters.  We had a GREAT time.  I just learned to stay away from the long lines and go more for the other activities and rides that move quickly. 
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