*Encouragement is the best medicine to give someone. If I were to pick any gift to have in helping others, that would be the one*

Thursday, January 13, 2011

21 Things Not to Say to a Person with Autism - Literally

I ran into this on a website.  This is from Laura Shumaker and I wanted to share with you!

Here is a list of 21 things NOT to say to a person with an autism spectrum disorder.
1. Shame on you.

2. How many times do I have to tell you?

3. Maybe (or maybe next time).

4. If you are good all week, I'll give you blah blah blah.

5. What is wrong with you?

6. Focus.

7. It's not loud to me.

8. I told you yesterday.

9. Wait just a minute. (Unless it's truly just a minute)

10. I promise. (Unless you are absolutely sure you can do what you are promising.)

11. It's not a big deal that your Pokemon cards are out of order.

12. Look me in the eye.

13. Stop obsessing.(It's like saying "stop breathing" to a child with autism.)

14. Idioms of any kind, such as "It's raining cat's and dogs."

15. Shhh! You need to be quiet in here. (The guaranteed response to that is, "BUT I DON'T WANT TO BE QUIET!" at max volume.)

16. You need to wait.

17. You'd better behave.

18. Look at me when I am talking to you.

19. "Go ahead and ______ . See what happens." (sarcasm, however slight, is bad. Autistic or not. )

20. It doesn't matter, you still need to...

21. Do you want a time out?

Read more: http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/blogs/lshumaker/detail?entry_id=75919#ixzz1AvS0l0cD

Interesting, huh?  I think I'm guilty of using many of these phrases.  If I say "Maybe" to Chaz, he hears "yes".  When Chaz was little, I used to say "Chaz, look me in the eye".  He had such a hard time with it and even got in trouble with that at school.

Do you find that these phrases can be confusing for your ASD child?


Leanne Neufeld said...

"Cut it out" and the child's reply: "I don't have a knife."

"Speak up" and he lifts his head and speaks towards the ceiling.

In our house, if we say "maybe", we may as well have said, "yes, definitely!" It has to be yes or no, but I can buy time by saying, "I need to think about it for a few minutes. Ask me again at (4:00, when we get home, etc)."

Thanks for posting this list!

Lisa said...

I can't even tell you how many of these I am guilty of...
I think even though we live it - even we forget that autism exists. I think I need to print out this list and place it all over the apartment just as a reminder.

Thanks for sharing this.
follow us down the rabbit hole @ http://autismwonderland.com/

Nasty said...

My child was just diagnosed with Aspergers 2 weeks ago. This is the best piece of advice I have received. Thank you so much for this.

Ruby said...

OMG i believe i have said just about all those thigns to my son, he's 7 years old, his name is Cameron and he has PDD-NOS but he has a lot of symptoms for Aspergers, so he was labeled with having it. And yes i've said a lot of those a lot of times :( i always feel guilty after.

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