*Encouragement is the best medicine to give someone. If I were to pick any gift to have in helping others, that would be the one*

Thursday, February 11, 2010

Personal Body Space

This is something you'll see regularly of Chaz (on right).  He's touching all the time.  As soon as he wakes up in the morning actually.  He can get the other kids upset in two seconds flat because he'll follow them around and be touching them all the time.  His siblings are used to it but when he does it to his church friends, they don't have the patience for it.  They don't understand him and they just tend to stay away.  Chaz has perfect speech and doesn't talk different from other kids.  He is higher on the spectrum.  This is what really comes out is the touching stuff.  Also, Chaz acts much younger for his age at times.  Sometimes he's my 9 year old boy and other times he's more like a 4 year old.  When he gets upset especially.  I try so much to have grace.  You know what I mean?  You want to realize they are different but then you want to treat them the same as the other kids.  Hold them to the same standard to one sense but then I have to have more grace on him than I would my other kids.  It seems like such a fine balance at times.  When is he being "Aspergers" and when is he being "defiant?"  That's something I struggle with daily.  Even this morning, within one minute of waking up, Chaz was going around harrassing his siblings and the kids were already crying and upset.  I had to make him lay back down for awhile and since he got back up, he's acting more calm.  Not that he slept when he was in timeout but just helping him to relax a little. 

I included two books I thought might help that I want to order myself.  One is for older kids especially. The second is called "Me, Myself, and My Brother With Aspergers."

6 comments:

Virginia Revoir said...

Wow, Rebekah! I can't believe you found me on facebook. So amazing! I'm trying to build a network of support on here so we can all talk about what we are dealing with and what is working for us.

Thankfully my husband understand ADHD because he grew up with ADD himself! That would be hard to have someone that doesn't believe in it at all. What would I do if I didn't know I had ADHD and with the struggles I have, that would be depressing? It helps very much to know what is going on because then we can find what helps! John from "Look Me In The Eye" talks about how hard it was growing up with no diagnoses because he got no help.

So glad you found me, Rebekah. I am hoping to find an Autism/Asperger blogroll somewhere so I can find more. :)

Unknown said...

I also struggle with the touching and my Matt who is dx'd with HFA and ADHD touches everyone - I do my best as a single mom to teach him but to no avail. His twin brother David has a lot of difficulty dealing with Matt's autism and most of David's issues are evolved around Matt's behavior. I have tried to both explain to David and even ordered books for him and I to read together but I just can't get thru to him (David) how to accept Matt. Any ideas are helpful.

Terra Howard said...

I so understand where you're coming from. I have this inner struggle daily. Reid is very touchy feely w/ me, his dad & brothers. He's bigger than me & he will come charging in a room & give a HUGE bear hug. :D With his brothers he's learned to be "gentle". It's so funny to see the title..personal space. On another note, some things I try to ask myself in the moment of a tantrum or stubborn issue are: Is Reid aware of the negative consequences? Is he tired, overstimulated or nervous? Is this a "deal breaker"? I know when I threaten to take away his most coveted item & his behavior DOESN'T change, it's time to hit the reset button. Our favorite technique.

Michelle Faith said...

Wow, I'm just glad I fould your page! My 12 yo as son is the oldest. Its all the time with the touching his younger brothers..7&5 MAKES ME CRAZY. I have to always stop what I'm doing to see Y someone is screaming...and its my AS son bugging them. Its like he can't help him self. My biggest issure is him pulling the others boys pants down ...I know he is just being silly and its funny and all...but he is getting bigging and it looks bad. Like you said he acts much younger..but he is 5'9 and over 100lb.
Guess I feel better reading your post and seeing it seems to be an Aspergers thing..Now what to do about it.
I'll look you up on fb. glad to meet you.
Michelle

Michelle Faith said...

My bad, I ment he is 5'3"

Unknown said...

I can relate. My daughter is 15 and I recently ended our night time ritual of a kiss and hug because she was so overbearing with it all. I still hug and kiss her, but it's not always on her time table. She also tries to touch people at church that she feels safe with and will play with their hair! I'm going to start working on getting a diagnosis. Your blog is awesome - thanks for taking the time to share!

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