*Encouragement is the best medicine to give someone. If I were to pick any gift to have in helping others, that would be the one*

Wednesday, September 14, 2011

Being a Mom to an Aspergers Kid

I cried a lot today.  Anytime I tried to talk about why I was sad it just sent me back into sobbing again.  I hadn't cried this hard in a really long time.

I started K12 for three out of four of my kids schooling at home.  Chaz doesn't do so well in a large classroom setting.  Well, it was so great over the summer but when we started K12, Chaz regressed quickly.  Today he was  on the floor rolling around, screaming and crying.  He is 11 years old but was acting more like a young child would.  Maybe like a 5 year old.  He cried till he passed out on the chair.  I didn't have the heart to wake him up and force him to keep schooling when he was just at his limit.  When I say limit I mean LIMIT.  He had been doing so well but since using K12, he regressed and was getting violent again.  Because it took so long to use that program, we were hardly having time to school my daughter Ivy in Kindergarten.

I was just sad because it broke my heart to see Chaz like this.  To see him regressing and going backwards when he was doing so well.  I was just hoping that as Chaz got older he would.... I don't know... maybe grow out of the Aspergers issues.  Do you know what I mean?  Like maybe it's been my imagination.  Maybe we were wrong.  But then we have days like this and it just lays me flat emotionally.  I don't want to see my son struggle like this.  I long to see him have friends, be able to talk normal with other kids, not have looks from people.  Sigh.  I just want to see my boy grow up and do normal things.  

Sigh.  I know I'm sighing a lot.  I hope someone understands what I mean. I LOVE Chaz for who he is.  I just want to know that he's gonna be okay when he's grown up and out of my house.  I will never, ever push Chaz out of my house when he's 18.  He's my son and I'll make sure he takes care of himself and will continue to be there for him as long as I can.

5 comments:

Heather said...

I totally know what you mean. I have two Asperger's kids... one who does in fact seem to be growing out of it and getter year by year... and one who is currently regressing. I feel for you. You're not alone.

Karen said...

We have a friend at church whose son has Aspbergers as well. It's tough...and from talking with him you don't always realize what all they are going through in their "monday-saturday" life. The wife/mom of the family died several years ago. He is now in high school and they've been fortunate enough to be able to send him to a private Christian school with a great support program for kids like him.

4c9582e8-dfff-11e0-ab95-000f20980440 said...

Regression is indeed the hardest part of AS, because you are constantly teased by the hope that one day, someday, your child will be able to live in the world, be able to find joy in things that you can understand. When he regresses it's like you have taken one step toward that dream, then five steps back away from it. Hang in there, though, Honey. He IS growing up... and while he will never grow OUT of Asperger's, he will grow INTO the person he is meant to be. (My son, Andrew, has Asperger's. He is 19, has a job, drives a car, and is in his first semester at the local Jr. College.)

I'm sorry for your sad day. Keep your chin up and remind yourself how far your son has come BECAUSE OF YOU and your strength and support. It will get better...

Virginia (Jenny) said...

Thank you so much for writing me, guys! Its so wonderful to receive encouragement from people that understand. :)

Aud Kraft said...

Have your child tested for the genetic mutation MTHFR. 90% of Autistic and Asperger people have it. It won't allow you to process folic acid properly. These are herbals like 5MTHFR and Optimized Foliate that can help and it can prevent some of the regress. I wish I had known sooner. I want doctors to start testing at birth. My son is 15 but he's been 11 for a few years now in a lot of his mentality. With the 5MTHFR he does still have maturities he obtains. I try to treat him like he is 15 because I think it's for the best. I understand the frustrations of worrying about your child's future. My son has yet to be diagnosed with aspergers. His school has suggested it for a few years now and I contested it. I felt like it was the ADD/ADHD of the 80s and 90s all over again. My school said I had ADD, I didn't but found out I had mile tourette syndrome. Anyhow I also struggle with the jerky adults that question why I'm not working. I live working, I'm a workaholic. But I put my life on hold in hopes my son can have a normal futures, or at least close to normal. When a parent gets randomly called into school all crazy times it makes it impossible to keep a steady job. I've been trying to find something that works around it but it's a struggle. So I get the struggles and concerns. Just know you are a great parent and God blessed you with your children because you were meant for them. Please look into the MTHFR genetic mutation. It can be holestically medically treated, there are prescription medications for it at this time and insurance usually will not cover it and it is costly but I've found deals online. It may be the answer to getting through a few more milestones. God bless

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