I cried a lot today. Anytime I tried to talk about why I was sad it just sent me back into sobbing again. I hadn't cried this hard in a really long time.
I started K12 for three out of four of my kids schooling at home. Chaz doesn't do so well in a large classroom setting. Well, it was so great over the summer but when we started K12, Chaz regressed quickly. Today he was on the floor rolling around, screaming and crying. He is 11 years old but was acting more like a young child would. Maybe like a 5 year old. He cried till he passed out on the chair. I didn't have the heart to wake him up and force him to keep schooling when he was just at his limit. When I say limit I mean LIMIT. He had been doing so well but since using K12, he regressed and was getting violent again. Because it took so long to use that program, we were hardly having time to school my daughter Ivy in Kindergarten.
I was just sad because it broke my heart to see Chaz like this. To see him regressing and going backwards when he was doing so well. I was just hoping that as Chaz got older he would.... I don't know... maybe grow out of the Aspergers issues. Do you know what I mean? Like maybe it's been my imagination. Maybe we were wrong. But then we have days like this and it just lays me flat emotionally. I don't want to see my son struggle like this. I long to see him have friends, be able to talk normal with other kids, not have looks from people. Sigh. I just want to see my boy grow up and do normal things.
Sigh. I know I'm sighing a lot. I hope someone understands what I mean. I LOVE Chaz for who he is. I just want to know that he's gonna be okay when he's grown up and out of my house. I will never, ever push Chaz out of my house when he's 18. He's my son and I'll make sure he takes care of himself and will continue to be there for him as long as I can.
My life in the Aspergers lane. Chaz, my 10 year old was diagnosed with Aspergers when he was 5 years old. It explained a lot but I have so much more to learn to help my son. Seeking answers and documenting my journey here. Be the sunshine for your child when they come home with dark clouds hanging over them. Be the rainbow that brings hope by speaking up for them. "Weeping may last through the night, but joy comes with the morning." Psalm 30:5
*Encouragement is the best medicine to give someone. If I were to pick any gift to have in helping others, that would be the one*