When Your Aspergers Child Finds That Perfect Friend....

Today I wrote on my family blog about Finding a Friend and Saying Goodbye.

Chaz and Dexter playing puppets at Children's Museum

Well, Chaz had found that perfect friend that he could actually relate to. They found each other at school and didn't know that they both had Aspergers Syndrome.  His mom and I met and turns out we both share the struggle of ADD. We share so many similarities that it was comforting to share stories and just encourage each other.  I found out that they are moving out of town.  It seems to be a pattern in my life where I finally finding someone I can relate to, or Chaz finds a friend that really is a good friend and they move away. I know life happens but it breaks my heart to see my son sad like that.  I can handle it because I can easily call Melanee up or chat on Facebook.  Of course it's better to see each other in person though.  It's just different for kids.  Chaz was broken hearted after leaving his house for the last time yesterday and he cried.  My heart broke with him.  I promised him that we could set up Skype and they could chat live or we could drive out to where they are (an hour and a half away) sometimes.  


It's hard for people to say goodbye to a friend but it's on a different level for Aspergers kids.  It's already hard enough for them to find friends and even harder to find one they can completely relate to.

Is a Good Life Too Much To Ask For?

Chaz (right) playing on my phone

When I first found out Chaz had Aspergers at 6 years old I thought, "Well, maybe somehow he'll pull out of it."  That was my deep hearts desire.  I still had some denial.  Not for selfish reasons because I didn't want my little boy to grow up with any struggles.  5 years later I see that it's just as prevalent and it just changes as he ages.  His struggles are different as he has learned to contain some behaviors.  About 2 months ago I just broke down crying.  I see his OCD, Aspergers, and ADHD really strong at times.  I see how he talks in long run-on sentences and can't change the subject.  I see how he can't fall asleep at night because he can't turn his active mind off.  I see how he's sad he has no friends.  Still.  I don't know.  It just breaks a mommy's heart. I'm glad his body is healthy.  He can run, play, ride a bike, kick a ball, play an instrument, walk, skip.  I guess I just want to know that someday he will fall in love and she will love him back.  That she'll love him even though he doesn't always listen well.  That he might be hard to peel from the computer.  I hope she knows how much he loves her even though it seems like he loves other things more.  I know he really will care.  I hope he won't tell her how big her butt is if she's putting on some weight. I hope he'll understand he doesn't have to say everything he thinks in his mind.  I want to be a grandma to his kids, a mother-in-law to his wife, a mom that still is always there.  I just want to see him enjoy all aspects of life.  Is that too much to ask for?