Yes, they very much believe he show classic Asperger Symptoms. They went through a long list of struggles Chaz has in school and how he still has a hard time making friends. They talked about his straight F's. They told me that he does need speech therapy. We discussed his stuttering. All the negative was discussed for at least a half hour. I just wanted to bend over from sight and cry. I wanted to yell "Everyone out of the room!" so I could cry.
Was it because he was in birth canal way too long? More than 4 hours and because the top of his head came out black and in pain? Because the nurse made a bad judgement call and he possibly lacked oxygen for too long?
Was it because I let the doctor go crazy and prick him with a million needles at every visit and I believed him that it didn't matter whether he was sick or not?
Did it just happen by chance? Was I a bad mom and not feed him properly? Didn't hug him enough when he was a baby?
I don't know. It hurts. It really, really, really, really, really, really does.
I fought back my tears in the meeting with every power in me I could find. "Don't cry. Act like you have everything under control."
Then the breath of fresh air came. They called Chaz's teacher in. Chaz loves his teacher. He tells me how much he loves her. See, Chaz doesn't trust his teachers because of what he's been through. His last teacher left him in an empty white hallway and told him he just had to listen to her but not see since he disrupts the class. He kept telling me kids were calling him a freak but I didn't know why. Chaz told me after the whole school year was over that he spent most of the time in that white hallway. Did the teachers bother to tell me? Of course not. Because the nice government funding that follows Chaz to whatever school we choose would be removed. Kids with IEP plans have more money that comes with them because, HELLO, they need special help. Like an assistant sometimes. Chaz was kicked out of the kindergarten by the second day. He was frightened and bit his teacher. Chaz never, ever, ever bites. Unless he's scared.
When the teacher told me that she set up a very strict schedule for her class and also to help Chaz, he melted right into it. Not easily at first because he tested her. She is loving but firm. She encourages but doesn't get suckered. She is exactly what he needed. Now she said he is getting straight A's and is very bright. She said he gets in trouble on the bus because he can't handle the loud noise and most of the time he goes wild or even screams. I am thinking about buying him ear muffs to block out the noise because MP3's tend to get stolen.
He said he would like ear muffs.
Have you told your child he/she has Aspergers/autism? If you did, how did you tell them?
My eldest son (10) knows that he has aspergers and he's proud of it. His younger brother (7) hasn't been told in so many words but I think that he knows too.
ReplyDeleteI read "All cats have aspergers" with my son and we talked about each page and how it relates to real life.
I'm constantly telling them about how I was "different" when I was younger and how being different is hard but it can be better. Individuality is prized in our home.
In our house, we acknowledge the negatives but concentrate most of our discussion on the positives.
We don't try to hide who we are but accept it. For example, certain types of stimming (chewing shirts) is discouraged but instead of saying "NO stimming!" we try to provide alternative chews.
We also balance failure with success. My son struggles with school but is doing well at scouts. Maths is difficult but he's a good artist. He knows that nobody is good at everything and celebrates his successes in the things he enjoys rather than pondering his failures.
Sensory overload is understood and my boys know that there is no shame in taking steps to reduce it. In fact, when our kids take these steps on their own, we're proud of them.
Ear muffs for Chaz could be good but make sure that they don't draw too much attention to him. Bullying can still be a problem in some schools.